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Finding My Spark Again

Published:
2 min read

When I sold my shares of PSPDFKit after building the company and making it my identity for over 13 years, I was very broken. I’ve been pouring 200% of my time, energy, and heart’s blood into this company, and towards the end, I just felt that I needed a break. We’ve been very lucky to have found an amazing company with Insight, that acquired the majority.

The Emptiness After

For me though, I felt like I missed out on life. A lot of my normie friends had fun every weekend while I was just crushing and pushing and churning through building the best product I can possibly do. And once it fell away, there was not much left.

I heard it’s common for founders to fall into a hole and to take a year off after they move on from their company. A typical company life cycle is also 4-5 years. So after 13 years in retrospect, I can see how it just needed more time to find a new purpose.

Searching for Meaning

I did a lot of stuff, I partied hard, I did plenty of therapy, I did ayahuasca, I moved to another country, I wandered around carrying this emptiness in me and hunting hedonic pleasures. And then a few months ago, something clicked. I had enough of my own bullshit, and I realized that you don’t find happiness by moving countries. You don’t find purpose. You create it.

The Spark Returns

Creating things out of ideas, building was always the thing that gave me the most joy in life. One day, things just clicked. I had a new idea, I sat on my computer and started hacking, and I realized that my spark is back.

Right now, we are at an incredible crossroads in technology. AI is moving so fast and is changing the way we work in software development, but furthermore, it’s going to change the world. I haven’t been as excited, astounded, and amazed by any technology in a very long time.

We are so back. It’s time to build.

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